-- <Life's not that simple> --

about me

Name: --William--
Age: --16--
From: --Indonesia--
Job: --Student--

Mini-Bio
food --Sotong, chicken and many moreXD--
drink --Soda--
colour --Blue.. Black..--
game --FF series--
anime --.Hack!!--
manga --Lol.. er...--
book --Harry Potter??.. nice books--
author --None--

Monday, August 09, 2004

Flow of thoughts.. every person has one period when his flow of thoughts is most active.. mine's at night so just putting it down.. bear with me haha.. i've really got tonnes of things in me weighing down on me haha.. so think beta say it out.. let the weight lighten a bit.. i am not like some pp who would just express the contents of what they think inside out.. pour everything out on sth called 'blog'.. yes.. cowardice mayb.. or just the fear of initiating irritation or just some unwanted reaction in some bodily jars.. so forgive me for beating about the bush..memories.. we all have it.. big.. small.. all diff types.. happy.. sad.. angry.. frustration.. everything.. all of this are just kept in a small chip somewhere in our body.. and it is i guess.. sub-consciously under our control.. mayb not fully.. but yes we do have some control over it.. memories are created.. and sub-consciously forgotten.. this is the case in most pp.. however, there is another special case where humans want it to be erased voluntarily.. but it is just sealed tight.. inaccessible.. unable to be modified or deleted.. or tampered with.. just locked.. intentions are obstructed by the blockage.. barrier made by the body itself.. and this is the case.. maybe without knowing.. some parts of the body are initiating this barrier.. keeping it intact and preventing the entry of 'foreign' objects.. like energy, it can be converted, used, dissipated but not removed from the face of the earth completely.. it is really quite pointless to say all these.. but up till now.. some antibodies are just resisting the change.. eating up all the chemicals produced in response to the intention of the cerebrum to forget things.. to take up things needs 1 hr mayb and to put it down.. mayb weeks, months or yrs.. willpower.. the thing tt most pp lack.. without exception.. to return all to ground zero.. would be impossible.. even if it is manageable.. somehow these memories can only be suppressed but not erased.. deep inside.. it will still stay, persist and live on.. humans live for the moment.. and without knowing it has passed by.. leaving behind but pathetic hopes.. care, concern.. even if they do exist now.. what meaning does it hold.. two-way handshake.. an important component of networking(maybe din really learn anything in cisco).. and of life.. small portion of rock inside.. hard as diamond.. cant be destroyed.. and facing despair in reality.. humans can only take refuge in their dreams where they hope nth ever happened and life can continue happily ever after just as they want it to be.. when hopes become too much and one hand refuses to shake the other.. everything would crumble.. i guess tt's the case.. therefore.. even if a reaction has been initiated in one by the stimulus in the other.. what meaning does it hold when the reaction is all for nth.. holding on to the bleak hope, the hand just grabbed on to a branch in the cliff helplessly, waiting for the moment another hand would come and pull it up.. to the place where it belongs.. and the other hand.. it would nvr noe what happened to it.. of course it hopes tt they can return to the original owner to work for him once again.. refusal is a part of life.. and when one chooses to stay the same while the other chooses to go on and not turn back.. whether their path of destiny will intersect once again.. no one noes but he who is up there.. and life goes on.. no matter how stupid it can be at times.. things would nvr be the same again.. or will it? irregardless of what happens.. one retains everything seal it all inside.. while the other mayb sweeps it clean and accept other entrances.. bah.. time to go back to sleep again.. gd nitez..

[Missing harmony in life] 01:00

Welcome to my life
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow u just don't belong
And no one understands u
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in you room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one there to save u
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one there to save u
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one there to save u
No you don't know what it's like, what it's like

Welcome to my life